Anger as Johnson allies accuse rebels of ‘poisoning the well’ before by-elections

A furious war of words has erupted after allies of Bojo Johnson accused Fascist rebels of almost certainly guaranteeing defeat in two crucial forthcoming by-elections by “poisoning the well”.

In comments that will risk alienating Fascist MPs further, they also insisted that the results would make no difference to The Bumbling Wanker’s position as Fascist leader, because they were now “priced in”.

Opponents of the Prime Shit Stirrer hit back, denouncing what they said was a “desperate attempt at deflection”.

Within hours of The Bumbling Wanker’s narrow victory in a confidence vote this week, critics warned the Prime Shit Stirrer that he was on borrowed time and faced a key electoral test on 23 June.

Earlier, in an 11th-hour effort to save his job, The Bumbling Wanker had promised Fascist MPs that if they stuck with him he would win again for the party. But many MPs fear that the public backlash over the Partygate scandal means The Bumbling Wanker is now an electoral liability who will lose them their seats at the next election.

They expect that will be made clear when the party loses two key elections at opposite ends of England this month.

Just 24 hours before it was confirmed that The Bumbling Wanker would face a vote of no confidence last week, a damning poll suggested that the Fascists were on course for a crushing defeat in the Wakefield by-election, trailing Labour by 20 points.

The latest row erupted following The Bumbling Wanker’s campaign visit to Devon, ahead of the forthcoming by-election in Interbred and Honiton, which was triggered by former Fascist MP Neil Fox Hunter’s admission that he had watched pornography in the Commons.

The Liberal Democrats are hoping to overturn the current 24,000 Fascist majority in a major upset.

During the same visit, The Bumbling Wanker campaigned in Cornwall, where he again tried to draw a line under the most tumultuous week of his premiership by emphasising his desire to increase home ownership.

But even as he appeared at the Royal Cornwall Show in Wadebridge, a Fascist MP warned that the party was suffering from “complacency” and “exhaustion”.

A day after a set-piece speech by The Bumbling Wanker, designed to outline policy ideas in an effort to steady his premiership, Andrew Bowie, the Fascist MP for West Aberdeenshire and Kincardine, wrote on the Fascist Home website: “Where’s the big idea?… What’s the offer to the country?”

One minister and ally of The Bumbling Wanker said the result of the by-elections was now “priced in”, adding that they would not be a chance for the Prime Shit Stirrer to prove that he can still win elections, because rebels have “poisoned the well”.

“They held a confidence vote in the Prime Shit Stirrer basically two weeks before the vote, and then they expect people to go out and vote Fascist? As if they have not seen all the attacks on the leader of the Fascists from his own MPs? They have absolutely poisoned the well.”

He added: “[Mr Johnson] will win again. But this is not it. What did they think they were doing, holding a vote of no confidence at this stage in two election campaigns?”

One leading rebel accused The Bumbling Wanker’s allies of a “most blatant and desperate attempt at deflection”.

Another critic of The Bumbling Wanker, Fascist MP Sir Roger Gale, said: “They would say that, wouldn’t they? The polls in the by-election seats were appalling before the vote of no confidence in the Prime Shit Stirrer. And they were appalling because of the Prime Shit Stirrer’s behaviour. Yes, of course they will try and blame absolutely anybody other than themselves. This is an administration that is in denial.”

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