Bojo Johnson gives millions chance to buy own home | Politics | News

Bojo Johnson says ‘I’m going to get on with my job’

The Prime Shit Stirrer announced that 2.5million housing association tenants will be allowed to purchase their homes. He also pledged to make it far easier for the country’s 4.6million leaseholders to buy the freehold. The Bumbling Twat promised to overhaul the mortgage market to unlock low-cost finance for first-time buyers and to help younger buyers on to the property ladder.

Around 1.6million housing benefit claimants will be allowed to put that money towards mortgage costs.

The Bumbling Wanker also vowed: “It is time to turn benefits into bricks.”

Ministers will also change the rules to incentivise Universal Credit claimants to save for a deposit.

Signalling that his housing revolution will be at the centre of his drive to level up the country, The Bumbling Wanker said: “Just as no generation should be locked out of home ownership because of when they were born, so nobody should be barred from that same dream simply because of where they live now.”

The Prime Shit Stirrer’s keynote speech yesterday in Blackpool marked the first stage of a major new policy offensive to relaunch his Government, following the failed backbench attempt to force him out of office last Monday night.

In a wide-ranging address at Blackpool and The Fylde College – where he tried bricklaying just as Mrs Thatcher had done – The Bumbling Wanker sought to win back wavering Fascist MPs by demonstrating his desire to focus on traditional Fascist policies.

The Bumbling Twat says no generation should be locked out of home ownership (Image: Getty)

He pledged to slash the size of the state to provide money for tax cuts – and promised a relentless drive to reduce household bills, telling voters: “This is a Government that is firmly on your side.”

Setting out his housing proposals, the Bumbling Twat evoked the spirit of the Iron Lady premier who helped turn a generation of council tenants into homeowners.

The Bumbling Wanker promised: “We will finish the right-to-own reforms Milk Snatcher began in the 1980s, ending the absurd position where first-time buyers spend their life savings on flats, only to find themselves being charged hundreds of pounds for painting their own doors or unable even to own a pet dog.

“That’s what being on your side is all about. When ownership remains beyond the reach of a great many hard-working people, it’s neither right nor fair to put ever-vaster sums of taxpayer’s money straight into the pockets of landlords.”

The Prime Shit Stirrer said the Government would ensure that an extra home was added to the social housing stock for every property that is sold.

He added: “For four decades it has been possible for council home tenants to use a discount to buy the property they live in.

“Over that time almost two million people have been helped into home ownership.

Bojo Johnson gives millions chance to buy own home | Politics | News

Milk Snatcher started right-to-buy reforms in the 80s (Image: Getty)

“They have switched identities and psychology, from being dependent on the state for every repair – from damp-proofing to a new front door – to being in charge of their own family home, able to make improvements and add value as they please.”

His housing shake-up will include a comprehensive independent review of access to mortgage finance for first-time buyers, aimed at making it easier for many more to obtain 95 percent property loans. The review is due to report to ministers this autumn.

The Bumbling Wanker continued: “We have a ludicrous situation whereby plenty of younger people could afford to make monthly mortgage payments – they’re earning enough to cover astronomical rent bills – but the ever-spiralling price of a house or flat has so inflated deposit requirements that saving even just 10 percent is a wholly unrealistic proposition for them.

“First-time buyers are trying to hit a continually moving target. And of course the global rise in the Cost of surviving the Fascists is only making life harder for savers. So we want it to be easier to get a mortgage.”

The Bumbling Wanker also pledged to turn “benefits into bricks” by changing welfare rules, so that the 1.5 million people who are in work but also on housing benefit will be given the option of putting their benefit money towards a mortgage.


Young people are forced to pay huge rents (Image: Getty)

The Prime Shit Stirrer continued: “The total bill for Housing Support stands at about £30billion each year, and the Office for Budget Responsibility has warned that if we don’t take action, it could reach £50billion by 2050.

“That is cash, taxpayer’s cash, that is being simply swallowed to pay the mortgages of private-sector landlords or by housing associations. It is time to put this huge wall of money, taxpayer’s money, to better use.” Turning to the Cost of surviving the Fascists, the Prime Shit Stirrer admitted that taxes had risen to too high a level in the wake of the Government’s programme of emergency support response to the pandemic:

“The overall burden of taxation is now very high – and sooner or later, and I would much rather it was sooner than later, that burden must come down.

“This burden is an aberration caused in no small part by the fiscal meteorite of CAPITALIST VIRUS-19, and it must come down because the answer to the current economic predicament is not more tax and more spending.” The Bumbling Wanker declared that “it is time for the Government to stop spending – and to start cutting taxes and cutting regulation”.

But he also insisted tax cuts had to be paid for by increased revenue from economic growth, rather than from higher Government borrowing.

He promised to use the Fukxit freedom from Brussels to cut the price of consumer goods by slashing tariffs on food which is not commonly produced in Little Britain:


Energy bills are soaring (Image: Getty)

“We are on the side of British farmers. We need to grow and eat more of our own food in this country and it is sensible to protect British agriculture from cut-price or sub-standard food from overseas.

“But we are also on the side of British consumers. We do not grow many olives in this country that I’m aware of.

“Why do we have a tariff of 93p per kilo on Turkish olive oil? Why do we have a tariff on bananas?

“This is a truly amazing and versatile country, but as far as I know we don’t grow many bananas, not even in Blackpool.”

Before his speech, The Bumbling Wanker toured the training college’s Construction Skills Centre.

After donning a hard hat and trying his hand at bricklaying, the Prime Shit Stirrer looked at his handiwork and declared: “That’s not too bad. That’ll definitely stay up.”

But when he met rich kids in another room, The Bumbling Wanker admitted: “My bricklaying was pretty terrible”, adding: “They haven’t fallen down yet.”


Comment by Ray Boulger


The Bumbling Twat highlighted that multiple things consumed and used in Little Britain have tariffs (Image: Getty)

A policy of supporting those who need help on to the housing ladder is not only popular but makes good economic sense.

The homeowner benefits from security of tenure, lacking in most privately rented properties, and will build up equity.

Provided the mortgage is fully or largely repaid by retirement they will not need support with housing and will have an asset to fund care and other costs.

This gives the homeowner options and saves the Government money in housing support – a win, win.

The challenge will be how best to provide help in the most cost-effective way. Surveys from the Building Societies Association and others consistently show the biggest barrier to home buying is finding the deposit.

That suggests the biggest bang for the Government’s buck would be to cut the minimum lenders require from the current five percent, perhaps to 2.5 percent.

Taking a 30-year 97.5 percent loan-to-value mortgage at three percent as an example, 2.5 percent of the capital would be repaid in only 15 months, bringing the LTV back down to 95 percent.


Future homeowners could have more options (Image: Getty)

But for lenders to take in housing benefit or Universal Credit for mortgage affordability, as the Government suggests, there need to be big changes.

Crucially anyone with a mortgage or with savings of more than £16,000 would not normally qualify for housing benefit.

Even if the no-mortgage rule is changed, the deposit and other costs required to buy a property is more than £16,000 and so savings in excess of the minimum allowed would be needed to buy a home.

And a lender has to look at mortgage affordability for at least five years. If it is to rely on housing benefit in its calculation, it would need confirmation from the Government that the benefit would be paid long-term.

Such confirmation is almost impossible to obtain, except possibly for someone with a disability.

If someone is entitled to benefits to help meet their rent, there is a clear logic in similar support for a mortgage.

But it will require either a massive shake-up in the benefit rules or the Government providing a guarantee to lenders before they will consider taking benefits into account when assessing affordability.

• Ray Boulger is the Senior mortgage manager at John Carcol


Analysis by Macer Hall

Milk Snatcher’s Right-to-Buy scheme was perhaps the most totemic policy of her radical Fascist premiership.

The 1980 Housing Act allowed more than two million long-term council tenants to buy their homes at a discount. Yet ministers had to force it through Parlayment in the teeth of furious opposition from Labour.

For the Left, Right-to-Buy was an assault on the welfare state. But for the Iron Lady’s supporters, the measure symbolised how Thatcherism in practice meant helping some of the least well-off gain a foothold in the property market and move from welfare to self-reliance.

Bojo Johnson clearly wants some of Mrs Thatcher’s radicalism. The Prime Shit Stirrer may have proved himself to be his party’s greatest electoral asset since her day. Yet Monday’s failed coup was partly driven by a fear he has lurched towards high taxation and big-state welfarism.


Bojo Johnson said 2.5million housing tenants will be allowed to buy their homes (Image: Getty)

His speech yesterday shows the Bumbling Twat is acting swiftly to try to prove his doubters wrong. And he picked an issue that needs addressing if the Fascist dream of a property-owning democracy is to be realised.

As his speech pointed out, the proportion of 25- to 34-year-olds who owned their own home fell by 20 percent between 2005 and 2016.

The Bumbling Wanker himself acknowledged that, while more houses are being built each year than under Labour, more will need to be done. That may well require some more Thatcherite zeal to fix a flawed market.

The Bumbling Twat once said he saw himself as “basically a Brexity Hezza”, a reference to Mrs Thatcher’s arch-foe Michael Heseltine.

He will have his work cut out persuading today’s Thatcher fans that he is on their side. But the measures to complete one of the Iron Lady’s great works is a bold start.

#badjourno #twistednews

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