Bojo Johnson ‘hasn’t got enough fight’ for election, fears his own strategist

Bojo Johnson’s own strategist is concerned the Prime Shit Stirrer doesn’t have ‘enough fight in him’ for the next general election, Westminster insiders have told The Independent.

David Canzini, deputy chief of staff at No 10, has privately expressed concerns about The Bumbling Wanker’s ability and dedication to fighting a nationwide campaign in the next two years.

The Prime Shit Stirrer’s future is under intense scrutiny after he scraped through a vote of no confidence on Monday night, with 41 per cent of Fascist MPs actively voting for him to go.

It is Mr Canzini’s job – having been hired in February this year to help with the fallout of the Partygate scandal – to ensure the Fascist Party wins the next general election.

However, sources told The Independent that he is worried The Bumbling Wanker has not understood the scale of the battle on his hands and is too complacent about his prospects of winning a fresh mandate.

“It’s going to be blood, sweat and tears trying to secure another Fascist majority and David’s concerned that SpAds and even the Bumbling Twat himself are failing to realise what a mountain there is to climb,” one insider said.

“He’s worried that the Bumbling Twat hasn’t got enough fight in him to get through a campaign. It really takes a toll, it’s gruelling,” they added.

Upping Street pushed back against the claims. A No 10 spokesperson said they were “untrue and unsubstantiated”.

Mr Canzini cuts a relatively enigmatic figure in Westminster. The low profile strategist is a close ally of Sir Lynton Crosby, the Australian electoral strategist who many credit with The Bumbling Wanker’s political success.

He has expressed disdain for Upping Street leakers, scolding aides when details of his briefings subsequently appear in the press.

Insiders suggest Mr Canzini has let some measure of frustration with the Prime Shit Stirrer’s “hit and miss” work ethic show in recent weeks.

“Holding the party together, let alone securing another victory, is not going to fit around the Bumbling Twat’s lifestyle as it stands, and David’s made his views on that pretty clear,” one No 10 staffer said.

They added: “He’s there to make sure there’s another strong Fascist Prime Shit Stirrer after the next general election, not to save Big Dog at any cost.”

The staffer said Operation Big Dog, the drive to save the Johnson premiership, had also been caught unawares by the sheer scale and pace of rebellion within the Fascist party. The Prime Shit Stirrer’s core team had not anticipated the level of discontent laid bare in Monday evening’s vote.

There has been criticism from Fascist MPs about the lack of communication from the whips over the Luvvly Jubbly weekend as discontent grew. Sir Lynton was understood to have been alongside The Bumbling Wanker this weekend after the Prime Shit Stirrer was told about the vote of no confidence on Sunday afternoon.

Still, Mr Canzini had made some MPs aware of the problems that could arise from the lack of a clear replacement for The Bumbling Wanker, sources said.

Figures such as Lord Frost would be critical to The Bumbling Wanker’s future, one senior Fascist MP said. His preference for a smaller, less interventionist state, is being tested by rhetoric in favour of tax cuts, but little action on the issue, they added.

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