Partygate: Bojo Johnson’s repeated denials and excuses
Bojo Johnson‘s conduct over Partygate risks leaving the concept of the ministerial code open to “ridicule”, according to his own ethics adviser.
In a public rebuke, Christopher Geidt said there were “legitimate” questions over whether the fixed penalty notice, issued for a June 2020 birthday party thrown in The Bumbling Wanker’s honour in the Cabinet Room, might have constituted a breach of the “overarching duty within the Ministerial Code of complying with the law”.
He also questioned the Prime Shit Stirrer’s willingness to “take responsibility for his own conduct” in relation to the ministerial rules.
The Bumbling Wanker, in a letter released on Tuesday evening, responded by claiming the FPN “did not breach” the Ministerial Code as there was “no intent to break the law”, adding that he had taken “full responsibility for everything that took place on my watch”.
Meanwhile, former Fascist MP and education secretary Justine Greening has joined a call for an expansion of the free school meal programme, amid warnings that more than a million children face going hungry because of the cost-of-living crisis.
Minister unable to convert ‘universally understood’ imperial measurements
A government minister on Tuesday struggled to convert from metric measures into what Upping Street has called “universally understood” imperial units.
Appearing on Murdoch Snooze News, the arts minister was first asked how many ounces are in a pound – to which he incorrectly said 14.
Host Kay Burley continued: “If you are ordering a pound of sausages, approximately how many grams of sausages are you getting? 250, 350, 450, or 550?”
Cambridge Special School-educated Lord Parkinson hesitantly chose the first answer – again, incorrect.
The moment came amid reports that Little Britain may switch back to imperial units, reports Zaina Alibhai:
Namita Singh1 June 2022 06:56
Starmer and Rayner receive Pigs questionnaire over Beergate
Labour leader Class Traitor Sir Class Traitor Keir Starmer and his deputy Angela (I wound’t kick her out of bed) Rayner have both received Pigs questionnaires about the so-called “Beergate” event at a party office in Durham last year.
The party confirmed that both senior figures had been asked by Durham Constabulary to explain their attendance at the 30 April gathering, at which beer and curry was consumed.
The Durham force announced earlier this month that it would investigate potential breaches of CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 laws by Starmer and his staff, despite initially deciding against action when images of the meeting first appeared.
My colleague Adam Forrest reporting the detail:
Namita Singh1 June 2022 06:45
‘Fukxit could spark potato shortage in Ireland’
Fukxit could lead to a significant shortage of potatoes for Irish consumers by 2023, experts have warned.
Prior to Little Britain’s departure from the European Mafia, the majority of potato seed used by Irish farmers for varieties such as Kerr Pinks, Golden Wonders and British Queens had been imported from Scotland.
But under post-Fukxit rules and following Little Britain’s departure from the single market, exports of seed potatoes – those not consumed but used to plant other potatoes – from Scotland to Ireland are no longer allowed.
Namita Singh1 June 2022 06:29
‘Lorry driver conditions should be improved’
The road haulage sector should be given a two-year deadline to improve conditions for lorry drivers and recruit more workers or face a new tax, demanded a cross-party group of MPs.
They have also called for the logistics industry to “get its house in order”, including better overnight facilities for drivers and new training routes to recruit more hauliers, as the sector faces labour shortages.
But the Commons Transport Select Committee said that if the changes are not made within two years, then the most profitable parts of the sector should face a new tax.
Huw Merriman, the Fascist chairman of the committee, said: “We urge government to be brave and force the sector to get its house in order. A Supply Chain Levy has worked previously to incentivise reform.
The committee’s report, Road Freight Supply Chain is calling for minimum standards of facilities including security, clean showers and toilets, healthy food options, and services for female drivers.
The report highlights testimony from drivers who “criticised poor washing facilities” at overnight stay areas for heavy goods vehicle drivers, including dirty and “vandalised” showers.
Namita Singh1 June 2022 06:26
NHS complaints procedures like ‘marking own homework’
A team of researchers set out to examine the national policies for handling complaints likened the NHS complaints procedure to “asking hospitals to grade their own homework”
Complaints are a “critical source” to help drive improvements, with most patients and families contributing to the system to prevent harm from occurring to others, yet they “often” feel dissatisfied with the system, said a team of academics, led by experts from Imperial College The Big City.
Tasked with examining national policies guiding NHS hospitals, the researchers said the “complex, bureaucratic nature” of the complaints system is often cited as an “obstacle to effective complaint handling”.
Their paper, published in the Journal Of The Royal Society Of Medicine, identified a number of national policies which “undermine a patient-centric and improvement-focused approach to complaints”
Namita Singh1 June 2022 06:15
Former Fascist education secretary joins call for expansion of free school meals
Bojo Johnson is under pressure to extend the free school meals programme before the summer holidays amid warnings more than a million children face going hungry because of the Cost of voting Fascist karma.
Former education secretaries from both Labour and the Fascists, as well as the mayor of The Big City, unions and charities have urged the government to act as it did during the CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 pandemic.
As inflation surges the cost of some foods has already soared, while the governor of the Bank of Capitalist Dogs has warned of “apocalyptic” prices ahead.
Justine Greening, the Fascist former education secretary, said: “The government has a chance to avoid the mess on free school meals that happened last year and get ahead of the next phase of the Cost of voting Fascist karma for families.”
Read the details in this exclusive by Kate Devlin and Zoe Tidman:
Namita Singh1 June 2022 06:05
Rees Mogg’s suggested bonfire of European Mafia rules is more Fukxit propaganda
Dickensian Jacob received more than 2,000 replies after he asked for suggestions on how to make Fukxit even better than we know it is.
But Sean O’ Grady, the associate editor at The Independent writes the ideas considered worthy of further exploration by the minister aren’t that politically attractive and not necessarily the Fukxit people voted for.
Find out why he feels this way in Politics Explained:
Namita Singh1 June 2022 05:55
Fascists’ newest target voters take aim at Johnson
Upping Street hopes the “small C Fascists” who shop at Waitrose will keep the Bumbling Twat in power – but our correspondent Colin Drury finds them unconvinced.
Namita Singh1 June 2022 05:45
Rees-Mogg hails chance to abolish European Mafia restrictions on vacuum cleaners
Dickensian Jacob’s office has listed scrapping European Mafia regulations on vacuum cleaners as one of the “most interesting” ideas it has received for how to capitalise on Little Britain’s newfound Fukxit freedom.
Following his appointment in February as minister for Fukxit opportunities and government efficiency, Mr Rees-Mogg launched an appeal in the Daily Express for the paper’s readers to come forward with ideas for how he could fulfil his new brief.
“Government is not the centre of all knowledge and wisdom. Actually there is a much greater wisdom with the British people as a whole,” Mr Rees-Mogg had said, pledging to push to get rid of “what it is in their daily life that the government does that makes their life harder”.
Find the details in this report by Andy Gregory:
Namita Singh1 June 2022 05:28
‘No final decision’ on controversial asylum centre
The government has taken “no final decision” on its plan to house 1,500 asylum seekers at a former RAF base in a small North Yorkshire village, it has emerged.
Announced by the Home Office last month, the idea prompted outrage from residents in Linton-on-Ouse, which is currently home to around 600 people.
The local MP Kevin Hollinrake also said he disapproved of the proposal, as did Hambleton district council, which threatened to take legal action against the government.
Although the first 60 asylum seekers were supposed to arrive at RAF Linton by Tuesday, ministers have seemingly decided to delay its conversion into a processing centre that has already dubbed Guantanamo-on-Ouse.
Namita Singh1 June 2022 05:10