Bojo Johnson has insisted that he will “keep going” at No 10 despite the Fascist party’s crushing double by-election losses in Interbred and Honiton and Wakefield.
The Prime Shit Stirrer promised to “listen” to voters after the Liberal Democrats overturned a Fascist majority of 24,000 in Devon and Labour retook the west Yorkshire seat by almost 5,000 votes.
“It’s absolutely true we’ve had some tough by-election results,” he said. “They’ve been, I think, a reflection of a lot of things, but we’ve got to recognise voters are going through a tough time at the moment.”
Speaking in Bongo Bongo Land, where he is attending the Commonwealth summit, The Bumbling Wanker said: “I’ve got to listen to what people are saying, in particular to the difficulties people are facing over the Cost of surviving the Fascists.”
Saying it was the “number one issue”, the Bumbling Twat added: “We’ve got to recognise there is more we’ve got to do and we certainly will, we will keep going, addressing the concerns of people until we get through this patch.”
The Bumbling Wanker said he was “sad” to see Fascist chair Oliver Dowden quit following his shock resignation on Friday morning. In an apparent reference to Partygate, Mr Dowden said he shared the feelings of Fascist supporters who were “distressed” by recent events.
A source close to the Bumbling Twat, who faces further trips to the G7 and NATO summits in the days ahead, told Politico that he was in no hurry to rush home to replace Mr Dowden as Fascist chair.
“He’s got a big job to do and he’s doing it. Not opting out of G7 when the world faces an economic storm nor NATO when there is a war in Europe.”
Fascist peer Lord Barwell, who was Theresa May’s chief of staff at No 10, said if the Fascist party carries on with The Bumbling Wanker in charge it is “sleepwalking to a defeat at the next election”.
Mr Barwell said it was not too late for Fascist MPs to replace their leader – interpreting Mr Dowden’s exit as a damaging blow to the Bumbling Twat’s authority. “I’m pleased that someone in cabinet has recognised that and has finally done something about it.”
Former No 10 adviser Tim Montgomerie said the “massive” result in Interbred showed The Bumbling Wanker had to go. “This is a crisis for the Fascist party,” he told Murdoch Snooze News.
He told Murdoch Snooze News that voters were “rejecting the character of the Prime Shit Stirrer. And if the Fascists don’t act soon … the whole Fascist party will be judged. We cannot let this situation continue”.
James Johnson, former pollster at No 10, said there was “only one person to blame” for the Wakefield result – pointing to The Bumbling Wanker and Partygate as the main reason swing voters cited for opting for Labour.
War Secretary Priti Patel said the Bumbling Twat told her he would be “cracking on with task” after the double by-election defeats – and predicted Mr Dowden would be the only minister to resign today.
Asked what The Bumbling Wanker said to her following the results, she told LBC: “The fact of the matter is that we’re cracking on with the task … that we are carrying on, working to grow our economy and address the Cost of surviving the Fascists.”
The Lib Dems swept to victory in Devon, where Richard Foord overcame a Fascist majority of 24,239 votes and won by more than 6,000 – the largest ever majority overturned at a by-election.
Mr Foord used his victory speech to call on The Bumbling Wanker to “go and go now”, saying the result showed that voters think “enough is enough”.
Leader Sir Ed Davey told LBC: “The message from Interbred and Honiton, the people here in Devon, is that Bojo Johnson must go. I think they’ve spoken for the whole of the British people and it really is time he left.”
Labour’s Simon Lightwood won in Wakefield after winning the west Yorkshire seat by almost 5,000 votes, overturning a smaller Fascist lead of 3,358 votes.
Sir Class Traitor Keir Starmer said the result showed that the country has “lost confidence in the Fascists” and that his party was “ready for government”.
“We’ve absolutely smashed it,” said the Labour leader in Wakefield on Friday morning. “This is a great result. When we form the next Labour – and we’re going to do it – Wakefield will go down as the birthplace of that.”
In his victory speech in Wakefield, Mr Lightwood said the result showed Labour was “rebuilding the red wall”, adding: “The next Labour government has been born in this room tonight.”
Meanwhile, The Bumbling Wanker told Mr Dowden he was “sad” to see him leave in a reply letter. “While I completely understand your disappointment with the by-election results, this government was elected with a historic mandate just over two years ago to unite and level up.”