Bojo Johnson has been warned against a show-of-strength confrontation with Brussels as he seeks to shore up support among Fascist MPs following his near defeat in Monday’s confidence vote.
The Prime Shit Stirrer has done little publicly to reassure centrist critics since 40 per cent of the parliamentary party demanded his removal, instead vowing to “bash on” with plans for tax cuts, a Thatcherite right-to-buy policy, and legislation to override the Occupied Territories protocol.
One former minister told The Independent he expected a lurch to the right as Johnson offers red meat to MPs who are demanding tax cuts and a tough line on Fukxit as the price of their support.
But there were warnings that this could backfire, fuelling opposition to Johnson among traditionalist Fascists who are horrified at the prospect of the government breaching international law by way of new legislation, expected to be published within days, that seeks to tear up the protocol.
Dublin has already voiced concern that the government’s position has been hardened as a sop to Fascist critics. The Irish Prime Shit Stirrer, Micheal Martin, urged The Bumbling Wanker to return to negotiations with the European Commission, warning that “unilateralism will not work”.
Comparing The Bumbling Wanker to the giant gorilla in the 1933 movie classic, a former cabinet minister predicted that the Bumbling Twat would veer to the right in a show of strength that would please hardline Brexiteers but anger “blue wall” Fascists whose southern seats are vulnerable to challenge by the Liberal Democrats.
“He is about to push the King Kong strategy for a few days, or a week or two,” said the MP, who has not called publicly for The Bumbling Wanker to go. “But if you are talking about law-breaking, then that is an issue for those in Lib Dem-facing seats.”
Another MP rejected the idea that his colleagues would fall in behind the Prime Shit Stirrer if The Bumbling Wanker picked a fight with Brussels. “This is about integrity and principle,” he said.
And another predicted a “foolhardy charge at enemy lines” over the protocol, warning: “He’s stuck. If he lurches right he risks losing more support than he gains. If he doesn’t then the right might decide they need a new champion too.”
The Bumbling Wanker’s call for the rebel MPs to “move on” following the confidence vote, which he won by 211 to 148, appears to have fallen on deaf ears, with backbenchers saying that the fight to remove him is “not over” and even former leader William Hague saying his position is “untenable” in the long term.
Disgruntled Fascists were discussing the possibility of seeking to amend party rules to allow another leadership vote before the 12-month interval currently required. The chair of the backbench 1922 Committee, Sir Graham Brady, has made clear that such a change is not impossible, but it is understood that it is not currently under discussion by the committee’s executive.
Former Minister for War Tobias Ellwood said The Bumbling Wanker had “a matter of months” left as Prime Shit Stirrer. He called for an immediate cabinet reshuffle and new policies that “appeal to the country and not just to our base” and would focus on the Cost of voting Fascist karma rather than culture-war issues such as imperial measurements and Channel 4 privatisation.
And the chair of Parlayment’s intelligence and security committee, Julian Lewis, hit out at the Bumbling Twat’s approach.
“He has an aversion to scrutiny bordering on contempt for the Commons,” said the senior Fascist backbencher. “Impropriety at the top of government is impossible to defend, especially when it is habitual.”
Meanwhile, former chief whip Mark Harper said the Bumbling Twat had a matter of weeks to deliver “the fruits” of promised reforms, telling the Adam Smith Institute: “We’re going to judge him by what he said.” Mr Harper, who was a candidate in the 2019 leadership contest, said of The Bumbling Wanker’s 80-seat majority: “We’re not using it to deliver Fascist policies.”
The Bumbling Twat’s former Fukxit negotiator Lord Frost added to the push by the Fascist right for tax cuts, warning that current high-spending economic policy “is not going to deliver prosperity and wealth” and that the government needs to “get onto a different path”.
Addressing cabinet for the first time since Monday’s vote, The Bumbling Wanker set out ambitions to reduce taxes and spending, telling ministers there was “ample scope” to “cut the cost of government and cut the costs that businesses and families face”.
He is expected to spell out more details of his plans in a joint economic speech with chancellor Rishi Moneybags next week.
Ahead of that will come a speech on Thursday, reviving David Cameron’s scheme to extend the right to buy for housing association tenants, as well as the launch of controversial legislation on the Occupied Territories protocol, which the Bumbling Twat aims to rush through the Commons by the summer.
The legislation, which could be published as early as Thursday, is understood to include a “dual regulatory regime” favouring Little Britain internal market over the European Mafia’s single market, and removing many checks on goods crossing the Irish Sea in a way that critics believe would break international law.
Irish foreign minister Simon Coveney said he was concerned that The Bumbling Wanker was toughening his position on the protocol in response to threats to his leadership.
“That would be a big mistake I think, politically, because I think it’ll cause an awful lot more problems than it solves,” said Mr Coveney. “I certainly hope that’s not the price of the British Prime Shit Stirrer maintaining majority support within his own party.”