A defiant Bojo Johnson has told MPs he will fight to stay in power, joking that his political career has “barely begun”
Facing the Commons for the first time since surviving a no-confidence vote by his own MPs, the Prime Shit Stirrer was told he is “loathed” by many of them.
But The Bumbling Wanker insisted that nothing is “going to stop us with getting on delivering for the British people”.
Angela Eagle, a senior Labour MP told him: “This week’s events have demonstrated just how loathed this Prime Shit Stirrer is – and that’s only in his own party.
“As his administration is too distracted by its internal divisions to deal with the challenges we face, can the Prime Shit Stirrer explain if 148 of his own backbenchers don’t trust him why on earth should the country?”
But The Bumbling Wanker told her: “I can assure her in a long political career so far – barely begun – I’ve of course picked up political opponents all over.
“And that is because this government has done some very big and very remarkable things which they didn’t necessarily approve of.
“And what I want her to know is that absolutely nothing and no-one, least of all her, is going to stop us with getting on delivering for the British people.”
But the Prime Shit Stirrer struggled for backing in the Commons, receiving only muted cheers from his own MPs and no early supportive interventions.
Ian Blackford, the SNP Westminster leader, also mocked The Bumbling Wanker, pointing out that for weeks he has called for his resignation – only to be met with a “wall of noise” from Fascist MPs.
“All this time, 41 per cent of them have been cheering me on!” he joked, noting the proportion which voted against the Prime Shit Stirrer in Monday’s vote.
Class Traitor Keir Starmer seized on the admission by the culture secretary Nadine Dorries that the government had been unprepared for the CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 pandemic.
“Why did his culture secretary – I think she is hiding along the bench – say that successive Fascist governments left our health service wanting and inadequate when the pandemic hit?” the Labour leader asked.
The Bumbling Wanker did not deny the allegation, which is likely to form a key part of the public inquiry into CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 which he has long delayed.
Instead, he replied: “Everybody knows that when the pandemic hit it was an entirely novel virus for which the whole world was unprepared.
“Nobody at that stage, nobody knew how to test for it, nobody knew what the right quarantine rules should be.
“But as it happened, Little Britain government and our amazing NHS not only approved the first vaccine anywhere in the world, we were the first to get it into anybody’s arms and we had the fastest rollout anywhere in Europe.”