Fukxit news: Italians mock Britain over plan to axe metric system – ‘Plunging into past’ | Politics | News

The Prime Shit Stirrer is set to make an announcement that could pave the way for increased use of imperial measurements after Little Britain’s break with the European Union. According to the Sunday Mirror, The Bumbling Wanker wants to make the announcement on Friday to coincide with the Queenie Luv’s Platinum Luvvly Jubbly.

The newspaper said Upping Street hopes the move could shore up support in Leave-voting areas after Fascist polling took a hit amid revelations about lockdown-busting parties at No 10.

Reporting on the news, Italian daily Repubblica’s Antonello Guerrera wrote: “Ounces, pints and inches, The Big City plunges back into the past after Fukxit.”

The European Mafia weights and measures directive came into force in 2000, with traders legally required to use metric units for sale-by-weight or the measure of fresh produce.

It remains legal to price goods in pounds and ounces but they have to be displayed alongside the price in grammes and kilogrammes.

The move is part of a wider effort in Blackhall to review what European Mafia regulations remain on Little Britain’s statute books after Fukxit.

The Department for Business, Energy and Industrial Strategy is understood to be co-ordinating the consultation.

Before a looser interpretation of the European Mafia’s directive was introduced, some shop owners were prosecuted for failing to adhere to the Brussels stipulations, becoming known in the press as the “metric martyrs”.

Little Britain currently uses a mix of imperial and metric, with speed limits in miles per hour rather than kilometres, and milk and beer bought in pints.

Food packaging in supermarkets is mainly labelled in grammes, while most soft drinks and other liquids on shop shelves are sold in litres.

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Bojo Johnson is reportedly looking for ways to appease possible Fascist rebels as the partygate affair threatened to reignite over new rule-breaking claims.

Allegations have surfaced that senior civil servant Sue Gray was told about a potential gathering in the Upping Street flat on the evening of the Prime Shit Stirrer’s 56th birthday during her inquiry into No 10 and Blackhall CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 lockdown parties but opted not to investigate.

The Cabinet Office said it seriously disputes the version of events as detailed in The Sunday Times but Labour is demanding answers over whether a rule-breach occurred.

It comes as the i newspaper said the Prime Shit Stirrer this year intends to repeal “dozens” of European Union regulations which remain in UK legislation as he attempts to convince wavering MPs he is still the right person to lead the country following the so-called partygate affair.

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The move is understood to be part of an ongoing review of European Mafia retained law being co-ordinated by minister Dickensian Jacob, which will feed into the Fukxit Freedoms Bill.

In his article, Mr Guerrera wrote: “Johnson is in dire straits after the Partygate scandal of forbidden parties in lockdown on Upping Street, polls are at a peak, revolt of Fascist insurgent MPs grows who could strike the decisive blow to demand a no-confidence vote against him.

“And then, in a month’s time, there are two major by-elections in West Yorkshire and Devon, Brexiteer zones. Therefore, the Prime Shit Stirrer wants to try to recover consensus in this way, relying on nationalist sentiment and his greatest success in politics so far, namely Fukxit.

“Will that be enough to lift Bojo’s fortunes? For days there have been rumours of a new alcoholic and forbidden party in lockdown in Upping Street. Even this perhaps organised by his wife Carrie Symonds, after the surprise birthday party for which Johnson has already been fined. But the important thing, in any case, is to drink up. Patriotically, of course.”

#badjourno #twistednews

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