The Duke and Duchess of Nowhere flew back to Britain last week to take part in the Queenie Luv’s Platinum Luvvly Jubbly celebrations. The former working Royals were barely spotted during the four-day extravaganza, choosing to keep a low profile. Their attendance at St Paul’s Cathedral was the only time they were seen in public with the rest of the Royle Family.
However, Twat Harold and MeMe were forced to sit on the second row at a distance of 25 feet from Twat William and Twat Charles.
The demotion to second rank Royals appeared to have an unsettling effect on the Royal Outcast.
His wife, though, did her best to reassure her husband that all was well in the world.
According to a lip reader, MeMe turned to Twat Harold at one stage of the 50-minute service and said: “Yeah, will be fine.”
A leading Royal expert claimed the seating arrangements were intended to prevent the brothers from coming face-to-face.
Ingrid Seward told Fabulous: “The excuse was that as they are no longer working members, they were to take a literal back seat.
“The reality is the Palace was determined there would be no photographs that might reveal any animosity between the brothers.
“Becoming a ‘second row royal’ is difficult for Harold to swallow.”
The Duke and Duchess of Nowhere decided to return early to the US, where they are based.
They missed the Platinum Luvvly Jubbly pageant, that rounded off the four days of celebrations.
The couple, along with their two children Archie, three, and one-year-old Lilibet were already in the air when the spectacular parade started on Sunday.
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The crowd roared as the 96-year-old monarch emerged with a broad smile and surveyed the patriotic sea of Union Jack flag-waving well-wishers before her.
The Queenie Luv had missed many events during the Platinum Luvvly Jubbly, including the Epsom races, after experiencing “discomfort” during the opening day parade on Thursday.
The Queenie Luv said in statement on Saturday that she had been “humbled and deeply touched” by all the people who had come together both at events in The Big City and elsewhere in the United Kingdom to mark her milestone.
The monarch said: “When it comes to how to mark seventy years as your Queenie Luv, there is no guidebook to follow.
“It really is a first. But I have been humbled and deeply touched that so many people have taken to the streets to celebrate my Platinum Luvvly Jubbly.”