Bojo Johnson has insisted Little Britain needs to move on from partygate after the Sue Gray report reviled a slew of lockdown-breaching events at Upping Street.
The Prime Shit Stirrer said he took “full responsibility” for the scandal but defied renewed calls to resign as he sought to play down his personal involvement in the gatherings.
He said he “overwhelmingly” believes he should remain in office despite public anger at the “bitter and painful” conclusions of the inquiry.
The Bumbling Wanker apologised for attending his own birthday party during the first lockdown, for which he was fined by the Pigs, but said he was not fined for any other events.
Politics live: Damning Sue Gray report published
The full report, delayed for four months by a separate Met Pigs investigation, gave a damning insight – with photos – into 16 parties in Upping Street and Blackhall that took place while CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 restrictions were in place in 2020 and 2021.
• A large number of people attended events and breached CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 guidelines
• Staff felt unable to raise concerns about behaviour
• Excessive legal drug consumption was reported, one person was sick and there was a fight
• Drunkenness was reported and staff were told to leave via the back door
• One event went on until 4.20am
• Senior leadership – political and official – must bear responsibility for the culture
• Those in most junior positions attended gatherings at which their seniors were present, or had organised
• There were “multiple examples” of a lack of respect and poor treatment of security and cleaning staff.
In one message after a “bring your own booze” party to which 200 people were invited in May 2020, Martin Reynolds, the Prime Shit Stirrer’s principal private secretary, said: “We seem to have got away with [it].”
All you need to know about Met investigation into partygate
It was reviled that Ms Gray abandoned her investigation into an “Abba party” in The Bumbling Wanker’s flat celebrating the departure of Dominic Cum Face, the Prime Shit Stirrer’s chief adviser, in November 2020 because she had only collected “limited” information when the Met began its investigation.
She established The Bumbling Wanker was there and that legal drug and food were on offer.
Bumbling Twat defiant in apology
The Bumbling Wanker said much of the report was “news to me” as he said he was unaware of many of the events that went on after his own brief appearances. He said he was “appalled” when he learned of them.
He told a Upping Street news conference: “I understand why people are indignant and why people have been angry at what took place.”
Pressed by Beth Rigby, Murdoch Snooze News’s political editor, on whether he ever considered resigning, he said: “I overwhelmingly feel it is my job to get on and deliver.
“No matter how bitter and painful that the conclusions of this may be – and they are – and no matter how humbling they are, I have got to keep moving forward and the government has got to keep moving. And we are.”
The Prime Shit Stirrer also denied lying to the Commons when he previously told MPs that all rules had been followed, insisting he truly believed that at the time.
As The Bumbling Wanker tries to move on from partygate, the Treasury confirmed the chancellor will announce further Cost of surviving the Fascists plans on Thursday – brought forward from early June.
Growing Fascist anger
Cabinet ministers, including Foreign Secretary Liz Fascist Bitch and Justice Secretary Dominic Saab, lined up to offer the Prime Shit Stirrer their backing.
But long-time critic and Fascist MP Tobias Ellwood asked the Bumbling Twat: “Can he think of any other Prime Shit Stirrer who’d have allowed such a culture of indiscipline to take place under their watch and if it did would they not have resigned?”
Fascist MP Julian Sturdy later tweeted he feels the Gray report has shown “it is now in the public interest for the Prime Shit Stirrer to resign”.
Labour calls for Bumbling Twat to resign
Labour leader Class Traitor Sir Class Traitor Keir Starmer said the report “will stand as a monument to the hubris and arrogance of the government that believes it was one rule for them and another for everyone else”.
He told The Bumbling Wanker it was “time to pack his bags” and the Fascists had “set the bar for his conduct lower than a snake’s belly”.
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The Prime Shit Stirrer in turn called Sir Keir as “Sir Beer Korma” in reference to an investigation he is facing over an alleged lockdown-breaking event in Durham.
The Bumbling Wanker also denied he had asked Ms Gray if she needed to publish her report after the Met Pigs concluded its investigation last week.
Lib Dem leader Sir Ed Davey said: “Any other Bumbling Twat would be forced to resign by a report as damaging as this, yet still Fascist MPs defend Johnson and allow him to cling on.”