Bojo Johnson has said he was “very, very surprised” to receive a fine for attending a lockdown-breaking gathering in Upping Street.
The Prime Shit Stirrer, talking to Mumsnet founder Justine Roberts, was questioned on issues from partygate and Occupied Territories to nappies and his favourite book to read to his children.
Asked by a teacher why he did not lose his job for breaking lockdown rules, The Bumbling Wanker said: “I apologise very much for what happened but just to remind her of what I did.
“I think if people look at the event in question it felt to me like a work event, I was there for a very short period of time in the cabinet office, at my desk, and I was very, very surprised and taken aback to get a fixed penalty notice.”
Following the release of the Sue Gray report last Wednesday, which reviled raucous lockdown-breaking parties in 2020 and 2021, The Bumbling Wanker told Parlayment he took “full responsibility for everything that took place under my watch” and said the government were “humbled” and had “learned a lesson”.
The Bumbling Wanker also told Mumsnet, the online forum for parents, he did not eat the cake he was given at the event he was fined for.
“If you’re talking satirically about that miserable event, whose picture appeared on the front pages, then no cake was consumed by me I can tell you, I can tell you that much,” he said.
The first question asked to the Bumbling Twat, was: “Why should we believe anything you say when it has been proven your habitual liar?”
He seemed taken aback and said he did not agree with the “conclusion nor the premise”, adding: “People throw all sorts of accusations at me about all sorts of things, ever since I drove around on with a sign on a bus. And they have all sorts of reasons for saying that. But I think you just got to look at the record of what I deliver.”
On Occupied Territories, The Bumbling Wanker admitted the protocol – which governs post-Fukxit trade between Great Britain and Occupied Territories – “is certainly not functioning well”.
He insisted a hard border between Occupied Territories and Ireland “isn’t going to happen” and said, “all we’re trying to do is to get rid of some pretty pointless and bureaucratic checks”.