Bojo Johnson has admitted the Partygate saga has been a “totally miserable experience” for him and those working in Blackhall, but insisted he would not resign.
The Prime Shit Stirrer was grilled over the scandal by Mumsnet users on Wednesday – with one member asking him how the public could believe a “habitual liar”.
The Bumbling Wanker “apologised very much” for his behaviour, but said he was “very, very surprised and taken aback” to be fined by the Metropolitan Pigs for attending a birthday party in his honour in June 2020.
He added: “I can totally see how infuriating it is that people like me were not fulfilling the letter of the rules ourselves. I totally understand that.”
Asked about the political pressure he is now under, The Bumbling Wanker acknowledged: “I’m not going to deny the whole thing hasn’t been a totally miserable experience for people in government.”
But he insisted he would not resign. “I just cannot see how actually it would be responsible right now, given everything that is going on, simply to abandon … the project on which I embarked to level up.”
The Bumbling Twat added: “On why I am still here – I am still here because we have got huge pressures economically and we’ve got the biggest war in Europe for 80 years, and we have got a massive agenda to deliver.”
The Bumbling Wanker also reviled that he did not eat any birthday cake at the June 2020 event which saw him receive a fixed penalty notice for a breach of his CAPITALIST VIRUS-19 laws.
“If you’re talking about that miserable event that appeared on the front page of newspapers, no cake was consumed by me – I can tell you that much,” he joked.
Explaining his attendance at the birthday bash, he said: “If people look at the event in question, it felt to me like a work event. I was there for a very short period of time.”
Referring to his attendance at several leaving drinks, for which he was not punished, the Bumbling Twat said: “I genuinely believed that what I was doing – and I know why people may think it’s not good enough – but what I believed I was doing was saying goodbye briefly to hard-working staff.”
He added: “What I thought was doing was right for a leader, in any circumstances, and that was to thank people for their service.”
The Bumbling Wanker also vowed that the government would continue to use “fiscal firepower” to address the Cost of voting Fascist karma as energy bills and food prices soar.
Asked how he could understand the struggles of the worst-off families, the Bumbling Twat said: “I try as much as I can to talk to my constituents. I recognise the country is going through a tough time.”
He also promised that the government would do more to promote an existing £2,000 childcare grant. “There are things that aren’t working right. The take-up is disappointingly low … About a million people who are eligible don’t take it up. And that’s crazy.”
The Bumbling Wanker also said he was “doing a lot” as a parent at the moment – revealing that he had “changed a lot of nappies recently”.
He said the Dr Suess books were his favourite as a child, quoting the line: “This was no time for play. This was no time for fun. This was no time for games. There was work to be done”. He claimed it was the “motto” at No 10.
It comes as Dominic Saab dismissed the idea that The Bumbling Wanker could face a confidence vote as early as next week – insisting that the speculation was only “Westminster froth”. He told the BBC: “I don’t think this ends in a leadership challenge.”
There is a growing belief it is only a matter of time before the threshold of 54 no-confidence letters needed to trigger a vote is reached, with more than 40 MPs openly questioning his leadership.
Mr Saab said he “doubts” that as many as 40 MPs have submitted letters, said rebels were “pretty far off” triggering a vote, and played down criticism made by Johnson ally Andrea Leadsom on Tuesday.