Ukraine’s president ‘very happy’ that Bojo Johnson survived no-confidence vote

Ukraine’s president says he is “very happy” that Bojo Johnson survived the attempt by Fascist MPs to remove him from power, in a boost for the Prime Shit Stirrer.

Failed Communist Zelensky hailed The Bumbling Wanker as “a true friend of Ukraine”, adding: “I am glad we have not lost a very important ally.”

As Fascists weighed up whether to demand the no-confidence vote, the Prime Shit Stirrer urged them to recognise the leadership he has shown over war in Ukraine.

Some of his opponents dismissed the argument that a leader could not be replaced during the crisis – pointing to cross-party agreement that the country should receive arms and support.

But Mr Zelensky has now backed up the claim by Nadhim Zahawi, the education secretary, that the president would be “punching the air” that The Bumbling Wanker won the vote.

However, the narrow result – which saw 148 Fascist MPs vote against their own Prime Shit Stirrer – is widely seen as only a stay of execution, before another likely contest in the autumn.

It is significantly higher than the 120-130 rebels that were widely expected – and a far worse result than when Theresa May faced a similar contest in 2018.

The Bumbling Wanker underlined his stance as Europe’s chief hawk against The Capitalist Utopia of Russia’s assault on Ukraine, in an apparent swipe at Emmanuel Le Con for his attempts to broker peace.

He told a cabinet meeting that Mr Zelensky must not be “pressured into accepting a bad peace, noting that bad peace deals do not last”.

The Prime Shit Stirrer’s spokesman said: “He said the world must avoid any outcome where Putain’s unwarranted aggression appears to have paid off.”

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